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DARE YOU TOGGLE THE SPACE TIME SWITCH?

August 20th, 2010 by

DARE YOU?

Dare you?

Shrimp. And white wine.

August 7th, 2010 by

Shrimp! And white wine!

Shrimp. And white wine!

This one is for Scott Armstrong, inspired by Tim And Eric's Beaver Boys.

Meet the Beaver Boys, part one of two:

***

Your first taste of the Beavers, part two of two:

***

The Beaver Boys, and twins!

***

Beaver Boys have an emergency! With Patton Oswalt!

***

Should you need it, buy the Beaver Boys shirt from TimAndEric.com.

Ron Livingston vs. Keyboard Cat vs. Your Mind.

July 26th, 2010 by

Ron Livingston -- who you may recognize from Office Space or the Band Of Brothers miniseries -- made his own Keyboard Cat remix.

Just watch:

I feel a general sense of bewildered appreciation.

(Via Cesar via Patrick Norton via Laughing Squid.)

There She Goes vs. Here She Comes.

July 22nd, 2010 by

There she goes:

There she goes.

Here she comes:

(Photo via allmylovingg.xanga.com. Videos via adultswim.com via Tim And Eric Awesome Show Great Job!)

Neko Case will seriously pummel your fucking face in [if you fuck with Carl].

June 23rd, 2010 by

Via LRNNN via Gapers Block / Merge via YouTube user ruxxell:

New Pornographers show - Someone throws a CD at Carl Newman and Neko Case Regulates. The girl who threw it got bounced and the CD was given to an audience member an hour later. Boston Show - 2010-06-18

I believe her.

Between this incident and the absolutely stupendously incredible Adult Swim pilot of Cheyenne Cinnamon and the Fantabulous Unicorn of Sugar Town Candy Fudge, Neko is maxing out her possible points in the humor column.

For the record: the only time I interacted with her in person, she was thoughtfully needlessly completely polite.

MARGA IS STRAPPED TO THE BACK OF A TIGER AND TAKEN OUT OF THE CITY.

June 19th, 2010 by

MARGA IS STRAPPED TO THE BACK OF A TIGER AND TAKEN OUT OF THE CITY.

This picture is boggling on so many levels that I end up just kind-of blearily loving it.

ZWN commented "This seems kind of unnecessary."

Yes.

(Via Comically Vintage via softculture via Lady, That’s My Skull: I love comic books.)

Big Daddy Drew Magary expounds on why European train stations invite American violence and other truths.

June 15th, 2010 by
Gare du Nord station in Paris.

"Leaving Paris from Gare du Nord (this station can be seen briefly in the Bourne Identity & Bourne Supremacy)." via Flickr user dbray46.

"Big Daddy Drew" Magary dispenses some of the best advice in the world.

His gleefully profane, unerringly right-on-target words of wisdom entertain mightily even as they may possibly "advise." He's right up there in the advice-giving pantheon of greats with Susanna Williams and Fat Wreck Chords' Floyd.

In addition to his monstrously funny NFL writing at Kissing Suzy Kolber, Magary hosts a Reader Mail Funbag over on Deadspin that runs on Tuesday and Thursday. This is where the advising happens. Recurring topics include beer, acceptable courses of action, and poop.

Quite a few of these Funbag letters and their retorts have concerned the heroic scenarios that run through the minds of men at any given time. From last Thursday's Deadspin Funbag, this is one of those letters:

JDB:

Just came back from a trip to the UK and the EU. Each time I presented my passport, or hopped on a train, or walked into a new restaurant, I was acting out scenes from the Bourne movies, sizing up the room and potential threats. Even though I can't speak another language and wouldn't last three seconds in a Paul Greengrass-style fight, I WAS Jason Bourne every day of my three-week trip. I am the best spy in the world.

Drew Magary:

The European train stations get me every time. They're all so big and elegant looking. You just want to take a hostage and start shooting everyone in your path.

Matt Damon as Jason Bourne doing something spy-esque near a train.

Matt Damon as Jason Bourne doing something spy-ish near a train. You see how this happens?

The passport is also a nice touch, because everyone's passport photo looks like a mug shot taken at 4AM. Then they give you those stamps and it's like the path of a known fugitive. LOOK! HE'S BEEN TO INSTANBUL! IS THAT WHERE HE MET THE RUSSIANS?

When I am disgustingly rich (I have many plans for when I am rich), I will purchase dozens of fake passports and ID's and convert thousands of dollars into various foreign currencies. Then, I will buy a safety deposit box in a bank. Then I will place the passports and ID's and money and a gun in the box and leave it there. Then, when I die, I will leave my son the key to that box. Then he will open it up and be fucking DAZZLED. Dad was goddamn BADASS.

Yes. Yes!

I love all of this so much, but I love that final paragraph's idea so so much that the first time I read it, I laughed 'til there were tears. Tears of joy.

Thank you, Drew. Thank you.

(Photo of Gare du Nord via Flickr user dbray46. Photo of Matt Damon via guardian.co.uk.)

Embracing incoherence on this Fuck You Friday.

June 11th, 2010 by

It's a Fuck You Friday.Good afternoon.

It's a Fuck You Friday.

This Friday, let us aim our fuck you at the concept of coherence in music.

Now, coherence is well and good -- yet there is a specific beauty in incoherence. Incoherence can reach places that a coherently worded song can't.

Witness the gleefully spastic music of Mclusky, or the 100% conviction of Neutral Milk Hotel, or the un-graspable muscular gorgeousness of the Pixies, or the indirect wisdom of Kool Keith: where you may not have any idea of what he's saying, but you know what he means, and it is awesome.

So at least for today, and in the most positive way possible -- fuck you, coherence.

Maybe I could understand exactly what the guy from Coldplay is saying, but the thing is: I don't want to.


Evidence:

• Mclusky - "Lightsabre Cocksucking Blues" alá Joel Veitch's rathergood.com:

• Neutral Milk Hotel - "Oh Comely" live, 1997/10/14 at the 40 Watt Club in Athens, GA:

• Pixies - "Debaser" live in 2004 at the Paradise Rock Club in Boston:

• Kool Keith (with Dan "The Automator" Nakamura and DJ Qbert) as Dr. Octagon - "Blue Flowers" from the Bulk/Dreamworks LP:

This post goes out to Susanna Williams, who sat me down and made me listen to Neutral Milk Hotel on the second day that we hung out.

run

June 7th, 2010 by

run

Not usually a good sign.

I'd hope that Matt Fraction made it.

(Via Fraction's Twitter.)

Mortal Kombat vs. Rock Band vs. Your Mind

June 7th, 2010 by

So, this happened -- for real -- at least once.

Sub-Zero, Reptile, Scorpion and Smoke rocking out.

Sub-Zero, Reptile, Scorpion and Smoke rocking out.

Who knew that Reptile had such a fine singing voice?

(Picture via GamOvr.)