St. Patrick's Day is amateur hour.
The fact that the preceding image exists to splay on a print-on-demand garment is further proof of this post's initial stipulation. Look:
Counterpoints exist, but why would you ever want to be the person wearing this shirt below in public?
Listen, St. Patrick's Day is to drinking what Valentine's Day is to loving -- if you genuinely care, you do it based on what your heart says, and you don't need the calendar to tell you to do it.
As ever, as far as we know, the best celebratory thing you can do to recognize St. Patrick's Day is to enjoy Brad Neely's "Bring The Gold."