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Against "Amateur Hour" as well as its opposition. [What day is it?]

March 17th, 2013 by

St. Patrick's Day is amateur hour.

THIS IS NOT AMATEUR HOUR

"THIS IS NOT AMATEUR HOUR. Happy St. Patrick's Day."

The fact that the preceding image exists to splay on a print-on-demand garment is further proof of this post's initial stipulation. Look:

Wearing this hoodie would immediately identify you as an amateur.

"THIS IS NOT AMATEUR HOUR. Happy St. Patrick's Day."

Counterpoints exist, but why would you ever want to be the person wearing this shirt below in public?

ST. PATRICK'S DAY IS FOR AMATEURS

"ST. PATRICK'S DAY IS FOR AMATEURS"

Just terrible.

Listen, St. Patrick's Day is to drinking what Valentine's Day is to loving -- if you genuinely care, you do it based on what your heart says, and you don't need the calendar to tell you to do it.

As ever, as far as we know, the best celebratory thing you can do to recognize St. Patrick's Day is to enjoy Brad Neely's "Bring The Gold."

And remember, there were never any snakes on √Čire to begin with.

(Images via threadrock.com, lookhuman.com, and flickr.com via sanfrancisco.grubstreet.com.)

Never Again In All Likihood. [What Day Is It?]

December 12th, 2012 by

Do you know what today is?

December 12, 2012. Yes, 12/12/12.

Neat.

Meanwhile in Turlock

Via Google image search: "Meanwhile, in Turlock..."

I likely won't see the next 12/12/12. No biggie. Once in a lifetime, eh? It's like a comet passing by. So this is me waving as it goes past.

Hi comet, it's nice to see you. Pretty cool. OK, bye.

"I EAT COMEDY AND SHIT PAIN." [Fuck You Friday]

March 2nd, 2012 by
I EAT COMEDY AND SHIT PAIN.

"I eat comedy and shit pain."

It's a Fuck You Friday.
The grand Rob Schrab* (Heat Vision and Jack; Scud: The Disposable Assassin; The Sarah Silverman Program) shares his feelings about the 2012 Oscar ceremony.

(* = His last name is pronounced "SHROB." Photo via twitter.com/robschrab/status/173986250188013570.)

A brutal video for a brutal song for brutal people. [This Is The Part That Will Hurt; This Is What Rock Looks Like]

November 17th, 2011 by

Inspired by a mention by Mr. Drew McKinney and submitted for your approval, the video "Scrape" from longtime NYC noise-rockers Unsane.

This a brutal song for a brutal video. It's a near-perfect pairing of bald-faced sound and disparate visuals.

Feel it:

Brutal.

(Video via YouTube user Burglar.)

The End Of The World (Again). [Fuck You Friday]

October 21st, 2011 by

It's a Fuck You Friday.You know what today is?

It's Friday.

Yeah, it's a Friday.

That means it's a Fuck You Friday. Yeah.

So, that religu-larious nutcase Harold Camping claims that today -- 2011-10-21 as the calendar reads -- will be The End Of The World.

Well, it the world didn't end back on May 21 of this year when Camping said it would.

And it won't end today. NeverCo guarantees it.

It's sad that he's wrong and that people follow him.

Therefore, to combat that attendant sadness, let's consider the actual End Of The World:

You're welcome.

(End Of The World via AlbinoBlackSheep.com. Thanks to Luke, who showed it to me first.)

Whether we like it or not.

October 12th, 2011 by

AAAAAAAAAAAA

(Via Nedroid.com.)

Fuck you, I'm a wizard. [Fuck You Friday]

September 2nd, 2011 by

It's a Fuck You Friday.Friday.

Friday, Friday, Friday.

It's a Fuck You Friday. Always. No exceptions -- ever.

It's important. Always.

Now, this:

FURTHER EVIDENCE:

Wizards have powers. It's key to know that. And y'know what?

Fuck you.

(The Final Battle by 5-Second Films. Wizard song from Sifl And Olly by Liam Lynch and Matt Crocco via YouTube user vinylsaurus.)

A lunatic will rise. [Fuck You Friday]

August 12th, 2011 by

It's a Fuck You Friday.It's Friday.

Everywhere, right now, it is Friday.

And that means it's a Fuck You Friday.

Then this occurred:

Michele Bachmann rises. How does anyone take this insane person seriously at any time?

AHHHH GETTHEFUCKAWAYFROMME.

(Horrifying gif via conangifs.tumblr.com.)

Fuckin' Apples. [Fuck You Friday]

July 29th, 2011 by

It's a Fuck You Friday.Yeah. It's Friday.

A Friday like any other.

And that means it's a Fuck You Friday.

Today, it's about these apples and... you'll see:

Fuck yes. Fuck those apples.

Or as I might image the kitty thought: "Fuck. FUCK YOU. FUCKYOUAPPLES! FUCK YOU APPLES. FUCK. Fuuuck. Fuck! Fff. Fuck. FUUUCK! Fuckin'... Fuh. Fuck."

Fuckin' apples.

(Video via YouTube user ignoramusky.)

"Brian, what's the history of Cinco De Mayo?" [What Day Is It?]

May 5th, 2011 by

From those gleeful merchants of brevity at 5-Second Films comes this important piece of historical context:

Further:

De nada.

(Gracias to Nick and to 5SF.)