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Celebrate Towel Day with a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

Tuesday, May 25th, 2010 by
 A earth analog of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

A possible Earth analog for a PGGB.

Towel Day commemorates the work and wisdom of Douglas Adams, author/catalyst of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and other wonderful things.

Now, in celebration of Towel Day, let's take a look at one of Adams' finest achievements. Along with discovering the answer to the ultimate question of life and by all accounts being a right-nice human being, Adams created what is now know to be the greatest drink of all time: the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

From The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

Here's what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colorless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

It says that the effect of drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.

The Guide also tells you on which planets the best Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters are mixed, how much you can expect to pay for one and what voluntary organizations exist to help you rehabilitate afterwards.

The Guide even tells you how you can mix one yourself.

Take the juice from one bottle of the Ol' Janx Spirit, it says.

Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V -- Oh that Santraginean seawater, it says. Oh, those Santraginean fish!

Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).

Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.

Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hyper-mint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet and mystic.

Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian suns deep into the heart of the drink.

Sprinkle Zamphour.

Add an olive.

Drink... but... very carefully.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than the Encyclopedia Galactica.

I already know what you're going ask. In a user-sourced interview with slashdot.org, Adams regretfully had this to say:

The Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster
by phossie

What is the origin of the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, and how would you make one on Earth?

I need to know.

[Douglas Adams]: Unfortunately there are a number of environmental and weapons treaties and laws of physics which prevent one being mixed on Earth. Sorry.

Perhaps needless to say, that hasn't stopped earthlings from doing their best to recreate a PGGB here on Earth, whether by movie --

-- or by beverage. There is a particular grouping of possible PGGB recipes to be found at Wikibooks. Should you attempt any of these recipes, The Never Company cannot be held responsible for your rehabilitation.

DON'T PANIC.To further your towel-related joy, here are links to Flickr tags and YouTube videos via boingboing.

Remember, enjoy a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster with as much care as possible. Know where your towel is, and good luck.

(Earth analog PGGB photo via nerdcore.de.)

One Response to “Celebrate Towel Day with a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster”

  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Christopher Rogers, The Never Company. The Never Company said: Celebrate Towel Day with a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster http://dlvr.it/1CY79 [...]

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